The year is coming to an end and we begin to think about the past and the future. We analyze what was and imagine what could be. We believe and hope that the turn of the year will bring us new energy, help us to make our dreams come true and maybe in the new year we will finally manage to work on our bikini figure already in spring and not have to fall back on a 3-week-10-pound program from some women's magazine in June, which then spoils our first barbecues or visits to the ice cream shop with friends.
Maybe we hope to finally find enough courage to confess our love to someone, we make a firm resolve to do something for our health and to stop smoking or to finally get more exercise in everyday
And we put all these hopes, dreams and wishes into one word, while the corks are popping around us and the fireworks make the sky shine in the brightest colours: resolutions.
Some of you may blush slightly and feel a little bit caught, or you may have to grin because you have recognized yourselves in my text. But maybe you belong to the other group, namely those who claim never to make resolutions because you can't keep them anyway. Or maybe you think it's nonsense to make up your mind to do something just because a year changes. And yet I ask you: How many times have you caught yourselves saying, after a hard day's work or an unpleasant experience, "I'll be so glad when this year is finally over"? Isn't there also a little resolution to do a little better next year? A quiet hope that things will be a little easier in the new year or that you can simply be happy without any restrictions?
Well, I don't condemn one or the other. Whether one makes deliberate resolutions or avoids them just as deliberately is up to each individual. Basically, I believe that every change brings with it a new chance. Whether it is the turn of the year or simply a new day is dawning, it doesn't matter. We ourselves have our life in our hands. We may not be able to influence what life has in store for us, but how we deal with it remains our decision.
resolutions are luxury problems
Many of us live in a world where we lack almost nothing. A nice proof of this is probably that you have both the resources and the time to read this article (thanks for that, I appreciate it from
the bottom of my heart!). I'm not saying that we don't have problems that need to be fixed, but nonetheless most of us don't have to starve, freeze or worry about where we'll spend the
All too often, our problems are consumption-driven or superficial in nature. And as much as my life has changed, I have to admit that I too am still very susceptible to these kinds of problems.
However, I have learned incredibly much in the last year - about myself, about life and about how I want to spend it. It's a hard school of life that I've gone through, but despite all the wounds, tears and losses that I've had to bear, it has opened my eyes to what is really important; to live.
I was driven by the pressure to perform and the daily grind, by my desire for recognition and my ambition. I was always looking for "more" without knowing what this "more" should be. I strove for
self-realization without even really knowing my "self". I always thought big and lost sight of the small. I was not unhappy, not at all. I was also quite aware that I was blessed with a wonderful
life. But I was constantly searching, always driven somehow.
My 2019 was all about "getting to know myself". I went to my limits and far beyond, I was flung back and forth in the waves of my emotions and, quite honestly, more than once I believed I could not do it. Simply drowning, to put it bluntly. And yet here I am now sitting at my computer and thinking about how I can tell you what I have learned without sounding like a cheesy calendar saying. I'm afraid I'm not quite succeeding. Although I don't walk around the world now and sniff every flower and enjoy every little bug and shine like a honey pie horse all day long, I am still living more consciously. So if you meet a woman on a foggy day on a Sunday walk who stands on the side of the road like crazy, stares dreamily into the fog and breathes in as deeply as if she wants to inhale the fog away, then that must be me.
My magic word is intensity. I don't want to subject myself to that everydayness that somehow made me a sleepwalker or a zombie, and that in my own life. Our time is so limited, we should use it properly. And at least for me it means living consciously and being grateful. Grateful also for those things that seem perfectly normal to us. Like getting up in the morning and being healthy.
And it is precisely because I have learned to be satisfied with less, or rather because I have finally learned to see all that I really possess, that it helps me to write down my resolutions for the year 2020:
Baking a three-tiered cake
Hey, just because I said that I no longer want to submit to the pressure to perform and the fast-paced society, doesn't mean that I'm no longer ambitious. However, I am firmly convinced that you
should use your ambition for something that is both fun and achievable within a reasonable period of time. There is nothing more frustrating than setting goals that are so far away that they seem
Well, baking is not exactly my strong point. In fact, anything to do with food (except eating it) is not my greatest talent. That is why the entire kitchen is my husband's territory. But since I have been baking my own bread for some time now and haven't dropped dead yet, it gives me hope that I can make a three-tiered cake by the end of the year. After all, I did not write that it has to look good or even taste good. It just has to be three tiers.
walk to paris
No, of course I do not take half a year off to walk to the city of love. It would probably take me that long to walk the 500 kilometers. But it is good for me to be in nature and breath in the fresh air. It helps me to get order in my head. Or at least something you could call order. For me, long walks mean being able to breathe deeply, and I don't want to be deprived of that in the coming year either. In order not to simply make the resolution to "walk more", but to make it sound a bit more crisp, I thought I might take the route from my home village to Paris. Maybe I'll make it, or maybe I'll be held up by the fog or by flowers and bugs, then maybe it'll just be enough to get to Strasbourg. It doesn't matter, because for me a walk doesn't have to meet a mileage target or satisfy sporting demands. It just has to be lovely.
visit an opera
You know that phrase, "For once in my life, I want..."? For me, it's the opera. Ever since I was a little girl, opera has fascinated me. I never wanted to be a prima ballerina or a princess. I wanted to be an opera singer. It's too bad I can't sing at all. At some point I realized that and stopped maltreating my mother with my howling. But I still haven't made it to the opera. I have always saved it up. For what purpose is it opaque to me. I don't need a special occasion such as a round birthday (although it's earlier than I'd like) to buy a ticket to the opera. And because I have the best man in the world, he accompanies me. And not reluctantly, but gladly. Because everyone who likes music must at least acknowledge the value of classical music. The only thing we haven't discussed is which opera we'd like to go to. For while he prefers the powerful, almost brute compositions of Wagner, I am more the melancholy, wistful type and therefore I like composers like Piotr Tchaikovsky. We will probably agree on a dramatic Verdi opera.
using up my fabric supply
By fabric supply I mean meters of beautifully printed, pleasantly soft little poufs that have been waiting for ages to be made into a garment and to be allowed to move from my fabric closet into my wardrobe. In youthful recklessness (so already seeeeehr lange ago *cough*) I was seized by the pure shopping addiction at a fabric market and I bought fabrics like a madwoman. The end of the story is a bulging fabric shelf, because I'm sure I don't have the right fabric for the currently desired sewing project in my closet and urgently need to go shopping. Logically, in addition to the fabric I'm looking for, I take home fabric for three more sewing projects, which, as you might expect, end up in the fabric shelf. So my goal for next year is to use up my stock of fabric or at least to be consistent enough to only buy the material needed for the current project. Or maybe for two projects at most. Or in rare cases even for three. But then it must be really great material.
watch more cat and dog videos
Because honestly, I don't know of anything else that can dispel bad moods as easily as cat or dog videos do. Even in sunshine and high spirits, a funny animal video can make everything a bit better. So every time my mood threatens to change, I'm determined to rush out my cell phone and watch a cute video of a cat or stalk my favourite dog Frida on Instagram.
instagram for real
I confess, I'm an addict. And I justify my addiction with the fact that it is my marketing platform and urgently needed to present my work to people. Although Instagram has this great feature that reminds you after a time you set that you have used up your online time for today, all too often it happens to me that I just push the alarm away and keep on surfing. I just enjoy it! At least since I stopped comparing myself with other beauties and just enjoy being sprinkled with so many beautiful inspirations! What I also appreciate so much about this great platform is the possibility to meet like-minded people - at least virtually. And this brings me to my resolution: Instagram is not real. The connections I have made through it are at least half real. And in 2020, they should become completely real. Janine, Sarah, Tina, Molly and all the other great people I was allowed to meet virtually: you are invited from the bottom of my heart for coffee and cake (or three-tiered cake?)!
simply living and enjoying
You may think my resolutions are a little ridiculous. Because they're not really goals at all. Nothing that requires hard work. Nothing you have a visible result of. And maybe you're right. Everyone should do what he or she thinks is right. For my part, I really have only one intention: to enjoy. Simply to do what feels right for me at this moment, not to let myself be put under unnecessary pressure and to consciously perceive the world around me in all its facets. And I think that for the first time I will succeed in putting my resolution into practice. And the prospect of success gives me the feeling that the year 2020 will be a little brighter and more exciting than all the years before. That it will be my year and that something incredible will happen to me. In whatever form. Sometimes even a cosy TV evening in your favourite pajamas with my husband and cat is something incredible, if only you are able to see it as such.
In this sense, I wish you from the bottom of my heart that you make the right resolutions (or leave them out altogether), have the courage to pursue your dreams and goals, always be happy when
you wake up in the morning healthy and cheerful (or sometimes less cheerful) and can simply enjoy the extra piece of cake without a guilty conscience. Tell the people who accompany you in life
what they mean to you. And tell them once more than you would otherwise do. Never forget to kiss them good night. And never part on bad terms. Love each other and give without expecting anything
And to set a good example: I like you all very much! Without you this blog would be just a collection of words in the vastness of the www. But you make me feel that I am allowed to give something, that my words are important and at least now and then make you think and laugh, and that is a fantastic feeling!